Once I was told that any person should have her freedom to live on her own terms, not letting one change their lifestyles totally to suit the tastes of others. While that was a reference to a chat with a friend on the topic of relationship, I believe the same idea is applicable to more areas such as in business, career, or most of the things we choose to do in our daily lives.

Too often have I seen others complaining about their own lives and tried to change out of their own mold to do a job that aren’t suited for their personality, or stuck with someone who is a total opposite of themselves, and carrying an air of defeat wherever they go.

I’ve too had been in this rut for awhile; I’ve closed most of my web businesses, stop writing, and drew myself out from the social media world and got back into a “reality” where I tried fitting in and be or do normal — that was my 1 year summarized in a short sentence — before turning my life around, firing myself from a couple of places, and relaunched 2 of my bestselling ebooks and creating a web ecommerce service that reduces all development time from a month to minutes, presumably with S$0 and in a span of 3 weeks (S$0 with existing resources available such as domain knowledge, and my trusty netbook and LCD setup).

So how did I or how you too can get out of your “hellhole” (or bottomless pit; whichever seems fitting) and start being yourself?

7 ways to start marching to the beat of your own drum and putting a dent in the universe:

1. Drop out and drop in

Taken right out of the words from late co-founder and CEO of Apple, Steve Jobs, where he mentioned in his Stanford Commencement Address, 2005, on dropping out from college and dropping in on the courses he found useful and favorable to him. Similarly you too are able to drop out from the things you’re doing, and drop into the courses, disciplines, and concentration of focus, in your school or in your career (hint: go to the school library, or interview people whom are doing the work that you love and see yourself doing; read: 30 days and 2 years).

2. Find a need and meet it

Dropping in doesn’t mean living a life consuming only information. You’ll need to make a living out of the things you’re passionate and truly believe in. Start dropping in on conversations, listening to one’s needs and wants, and if you have a fitting product that works right out of the box and is a perfect match for her, sell it, allowing her to be your patron.

3. Understand that God’s grace is sufficient for your needs

There are days where one may feel that his life had been totally screwed by others. However, understand that God’s grace is sufficient for your needs. As spoken by Paul, the apostle who got stoned literally, caught in shipwrecks and storms multiple times, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Cor 12:9. Unlike Paul, I had it easier; what I failed to mention earlier from the S$0 and 3 weeks period was that I had a six-figure deal pulled out at the last minute, lost a business relationship with some of my friends whom I respected, and lost almost everything — that’s week 1 — except for my faith and a sense of humor that pulled me through the next 2 weeks. There’s no such thing as waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel—the only light at the end of the tunnel is God’s light — which is His word — that is the lamp onto your feet. You’ll have to walk through it with His words as your source and light.

4. Realize that others aren’t perfect too

I’m nowhere near perfect, in fact I’m a type of person who screams at authority figures if my time was being unnecessarily wasted, throws tantrums (nearly got jailed for that), stole, hacking friends’ accounts (we are now friends since the incident that happened 7 years earlier), dislikes meetings, eccentric, and never liked messy administration. With the self-perception that I needed to learn from others to become a better person, I took the opportunity to learn from some of 2 key authority roles (a business leader and a pastor; 2 huge roles that I admire) while in a joint venture, and 1 year later, came to realize that we aren’t all perfect. Some business relationships don’t work out great at the get-go, some takes time, some best to work in a co-founding and non-salaried positions, there’s no one-size fits all solution—we’re all works in progress. Welcome to the planet, welcome to existence. We are here with our own weaknesses, but what makes it exciting is that we are always looking ahead to do our lives better.

5. Decide to create

Ever found joy while taking up pen, paper and crayons and doodled your first masterpieces, or took up music classes and found yourself drawn to and played extremely well on the guitar or piano, or played with clay or if given access to workshops, melted plastic molds, to carpentry tools, and built your first solid work of art that you truly enjoyed creating? Decide to create. Work in an area of focus where you find joy in the process of creating, which is to learn, to master, and to put a dent in someone’s universe by wowing them, and that is in creating value for others by allowing them to reduce time spent in setting up their work, creating a package — mixed variety and products — where others can enjoy in forms of food and entertainment, or creating an environment where others can find inspiration and continuous empowerment to get things done and doing things better. What are you creating today?

6. Write a journal

About a month ago, I asked great friend and blogging colleague, Kristi, who’s a freelance writer, runs a blog marketing consulting service and blogging enthusiast, on what she would do if she starts and runs her own freelance business (note: she’s recently got her fresh start running a full time freelance writing business — congrats!). Her answer: start writing and journaling the process; or in her own words: document what you do and how it works. Author and writer, Leo Babauta, too started his writing career by keeping a journal of his process of debt elimination, personal productivity, and towards simplifying life and live clutter-free in now top blog we know as Zen Habits. 37 Signals, a technology and web apps company serving the “fortune 5,000,000″, too detailed their work in a corporate weblog — all members of the 37signals team are free to publish from day 1 — without worrying about copycats. They were the earlier ones who wrote about Ruby (created Ruby on Rails), and on the “yellow fade technique”, and gaining visibility through the web by giving information away by writing a journal. Start writing, sharing and documenting how you faced fear and overcame challenges. The more you give, the more you’ll create, which in turns allows you to eliminate unnecessary fears, worries, and doing less, where more = more focused (high value) work.

7. Give and live

I’m one of those crazy givers who give beyond my own means or give whenever the opportunity is present. Of course, not to everyone; give to those you actually trust and have a relationship with. $20 in my pocket? $10 I give away. $2,000 in a cheque during a building fund period? $1,000 I give away. Wrote a book? I gave it away to some of my friends and blogging colleagues. The crazy thing about giving is that giving is works and it works harder for you. What about controlled giving? I tried during my 1 year absence. It’s terrible. The more I tried to control, the more eventually I had wanted. Which more wants = more stress, and I got burnt out and got into debt pretty much quickly even though with a stable $1.6k-$1.8k paycheck. Results of unconditional giving? I gave my books away for public perusal with a pay-it-foward approach (buy if you found it useful or if you have thought of giving), and got multiple books of different titles and of interests in my mail, email and as love gifts. I treat others meals, I got meals in return and sometimes in bigger portions and servings when I’m really hungry. And that $1,000 I gave away for a building fund season? Let’s say that working alongside a pastor and a key business leader is a mind-blowing opportunity on its own that money can’t buy. Start giving and start living. Analogy on unconditional giving, hacking, and God: I used to be a hacker, as in I hacked into friends’ accounts or programs to take things that I want. I got them but gotten them together with years of guilt and despair. Then I learned giving and I found ways to start living. The only way to hack God is by giving. When you give, you’ll gain access to His resources, knowledge and insights He has yet to show light on, where He gives you the chance and opportunity to start creating, writing, documenting, marching to a beat of a different drummer, and putting a dent in the universe.

Be yourself. Start living today.

“Real generosity towards the future lies in giving all to the present.” – Albert Camus (1913–1960), French-Algerian philosopher